when it becomes ok to tease a cripple

Pranking Is The Next Step In Evolution

This heading serves no purpose....NICK

What is the funniest thing of all? Stand up comedians? Adult jokes? My blog? All wrong the correct answer is when girls fall over. We all know that. But closely followed behind that is people in general falling over. And behind THAT is teasing crippled people (not as mean as it sounds).

At first my close friends felt sorry for me and my neck brace. Always offering to open doors and pick up anything i may have dropped due to my lack of mobility. Gone are those days....

The next step with friends will always be the jokes. And the jokes are rolling in. I would like to take a moment to talk about a friend of mine: Nick. Nick has been a best mate of mine for a number of years now, and a good one at that. He currently works over off the coast of Perth or something. The way i see is it he is over-paid and spends his days on an island with 2000 other men and no females. Pretty sus right? He loves it.

Nicks a good man. Sometimes. And when i learned that he was back in Sydney for 9 days i naturally went along to the airport to pick him up. Most of my friends reactions to seeing my neck brace were the same. 'oh fuck', 'man are you ok?', 'that looks uncomfortable'.........not nicks though. After Nicks long flight from Perth, he arrives  back on a cold Sydney morning to what must have been the funniest thing he has ever seen......

Because when nick was within about 10 feet of me he dropped his bags and blatantly started to laugh at me. Not a word of sympathy or an expression of sorrow. The bastard just kept laughing, walked closer, gave the brace a flick, and kept on laughing.

Then as we hopped into the car, he began to laugh again as he watched me struggle. Fuck you Nick. Welcome back.

So for a week now, everyday nick has found a new way to laugh at my impairment. The latest way old Nick has discovered, is to take something of mine and throw it on the ground in front of me, and watch me struggle to pick it up. Yeah he is that guy haha.

Nick enjoys making cripple life as difficult for me and as entertaining for him as possible. When driving, he will shout out "LOOK LEFT!!" and laugh at me. He is a real prick.  A lovable prick of course.

So i have devised a few 'nick inspired' pranks that you can play on power rangers such as myself. Please note i will not be responsible for any further damage to peoples necks....or if death is a result....

HOT GIRL PRANK:

Simple as hell, easier when driving. Yell out that there is a hot girl to the right or left and watch cripple person squirm and struggle trying to get a glimpse. *can work with guys, if thats your thing.

NO HELP:

Not really a prank but when invalid drops something, don't help them. Watch them struggle to do it them selves. Please note: Obviously filming this can add insult to injury and makes for an even more comical experience. 

POINTING OUT:

This annoying as hell one works best in shopping centers. Basically just start point out a whole bunch of useless shit and watch your cripple friend do stupid whole body movements trying to see where they are. This one is really annoying

BEHIND YOU:

This dick-head move makes me feel very special. It also happens un-intentionally sometimes. Juts walk up behind cripple and say hello and keep walking, and by the time they have turned around to see who it is, your already on the other side of them. Makes you look really cool. 

BEAT UP:

This one is for the criminals. Walk near some stairs and when the moment is right, tackle the cripple down the stairs and watch them bounce. They wont know what hit them!!

*Please note, the last one should probably never be attempted.

                 When pranking, don't take things too far, or people from their wheel chair

If you see this guy and your injured; run, hobble, crawl, crutch or wheel away from him. He will tease you.

So thanks to Nick, i have had an interesting week and proved to be much entertainment at my own expense. All good though, cause i would do the EXACT same to him. Thats what friends are for.

So remember folks, next time you meet an incapacitated person; they can provide a great deal of laughs weather they intend to or not. Oh yeah, might not be such a funny idea or someone who is permanently disabled. But hey, thats your call!

So as Nick soon leaves back to man-island, i have come to the realization that during his 9 day visit i have probably earned myself another week in the neck brace! What a top bloke I am just thankful for the fact that now if he is ever injured, i have a free pass to make his life hell! Thanks buddy!!

gonna start filming stuff. stay tuned haaaaaaaaaa

-scotty