one year on.still awesome.read this.fuck you.

Welcome back, sit down, chill out, please...stay a while (please read this is a creepy pedo voice)

Before I begin, I would publicly like to announce that 'hashtagging' is the gayest thing since aids. Do not hashtag, not even as a joke, ever. If you hashtag for real, I pray that one day an escaped elephant has his way with your rear...

Good evening, it has been exactly one year to the day since I was forced against my will to don one half of the white power ranger outfit. YES. You're also thinking "Holy fuck, that year has gone quickly", well guess what fucker, a year is a year. Time doesn't speed up or slow down as you please. If you spent the last year kicking back, sipping cocktails in Bora Bora, you'd not only have a sweet tan and alcohol poisoning, but you'd have no idea how long ago a year was...


But y'all haven't been doing that have you? Instead, you have been either working your shitty dead end job, or studying some terrible subject that will eventually lead to a shitty dead end job. So for 5 minutes (or how ever long it takes you to read this blog, maybe half an hour if you're "special") just forget your shitty desk, forget your boring work colleagues and their terrible stories and just read. Oh, and if you need a break to go and instagram your meal, then please close this window now, I don't want your type here.








             













                      A selfie of me from 10 minutes ago
This photo was taken of me this time last year





I know what you're all thinking "Wow Scott, you look so fit and healthy (not to mention black)" And you would all be correct. After loosing the neck brace I stared a rigorous  training regime that consisted of me walking on a treadmill occasionally and eating whatever the fuck I wanted. So I guess you could say the secret to my success is just straight up good genes...sorry aspiring fatties, you will have to do it the hard way. As to my unexplained "African appearance" it shall remain unexplained.


When sitting down to write this blog I was throwing around some idea in my head, what do people like? what do people want to read? what inspires people? The answer to that is; I don't care, there are many places in the world to go for advice and inspiration, my turd of a blog is not one of them.



How about a summary of the past years events?? Wouldn't everybody like that? Nah, maybe not, a shit load of Americans were shot and blown up, an even bigger shit load of people got shot and blown up in the middle east, daft punk released and album and Australia is still being run by the *hottest red-head on the planet. Oh, and Scott is still yet to sleep with a celebrity, so if you're a celebrity and you're reading this, hit me up xoxo.

*the term "hottest" is a very very very loose phrase and may indeed translate to 'hideous'



You know what else has been raping my eyes this past year? You guess it: BLOGS. I am going to go ahead and state now that if your write a blog, there is a 100% chance that it sucks. Look what you're reading now, it sucks. So, fuck your blog, fuck bloggers and fuck you. Any 2 year old with the ability to see in colour could upload "artistic" and "inspirational" photos to a web page and then throw some hippy bullshit quotes about 'freedom' and 'love', blogging gives you ZERO credit in the real world. ZERO.

I CALL BULLSHIT, THE GREATEST DANGER TO MOST OF US IS A PHYSCO MOTHER FUCKER, HIGH ON CRACK WALKING THE STREETS WITH A RIFLE, PICKING OFF PEOPLE AT WILL. SORRY MICHELANGELO, STICK TO HANGING OUT IN THE SEWERS WITH THE OTHER NINJA TURTLES.

I CAN ONLY ASSUME THE PERSON WHO WROTE THIS "INSTAGRAMMABLE INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE" WAS BY ALL MEANS; LEGALLY RETARDED. IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENCE, DONT TRY LOOK FOR A "DEEP" MEANING. JUST ACCEPT THAT THIS PERSON IS NOW PROBABLY WORKING AT KFC.

                                                        THIS QUOTE IS RAD...

THIS SHIT DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE ON THE INTERNET. IT IS THE WORK OF THE DEVIL. I WOULD REALLY LOVE TO KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE SEEN THIS WASTE OF DIGITAL SPACE AND REALLY THOUGHT "I AM BEAUTIFUL". CHANCES ARE, IF YOU NEED TO GET YOUR COMPLIMENTS FROM A COMPUTER SCREEN, YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT RIGHT UP THERE IN THE SOCIAL SCENE...


You are all probably sitting there and thinking "wow, Scott has really got some anger issues" and you'd be wrong, I make this up as it comes to me, then it goes down on the keyboard and then it is gone again...



Anyways, I will wrap up this blogging thing now because quite frankly it is boring me, hopefully it didn't bore you though, if it did please feel free to leave a comment at www.ScrewYou.com don't forget the capital letters.


If any of you cared about what I am doing with my life, I have resumed training as a stuntman again and I am loving it. All I need now is a 6'5 blonde actor to make a name for himself in the action movie scene. If you are an aspiring actor who fits this description, hit me up. I will make you the best Vegemite toast and cup of tea you've ever eaten.

Also, now living over the east side of Sydney (Paddington), so I am officially an eastern suburbs wanker, don't judge me... just kidding, judge away, the east sucks and so does all it residents, including me.


I also have a homework for any of you new couples, when meeting your partners parents for the first time, when asked "what do you do?" tell them that you clean Maccas trays and the airport macdonals... try keep a straight face and watch their reaction. I am not saying thats a shit job.ohwaityeahIam.


I would just like to leave you all with my own quote, real 'moral fiber' kinda stuff. Inspiring if you will...

PEACE. SCOTT BE GONE XXXXX


ps. if this took you more than 5 minutes to read, go back to school.