fat people at maccas.

Seeing A Fat Person at McDonalds Is My New Favorite Thing

So there i am, sitting down, being crippled and craving a feed.  And all of a sudden an advert for 'Mcdonalds' appears on TV.......what?

Question: What is a crippled persons favorite thing to eat?


Answer: The same shit as everybody else you shit-head , don't be so insensitive.

Who is McDonalds? Where did he come from? Why is he selling his food here? And how did he get so popular?...............These are some of the questions that i literally just thought of, and were not even close to being on my mind as i walked under those giant yellow arches.

Mr Donalds, has over 300,000* stores in Sydney alone! Can you believe it? I chose the Cremorne one naturally. I am from the north shore, i demand the finest. And it kind of is the closest. 

*this is not true one bit

So MickyD has a bit of coin, he has spent big on the location and design of his Cremorne branch. And believe this or not, but it was the first restaurant i have ever been to which had automatic doors. Automatic doors?

If i were to guess the kind of people that eat at this restaurant, then i would have a go at maybe aged between 0-100, lazy, fat and a lack of desire to open their own doors. Kidding, i love eating maccas, and so do you....

One thing bummed me out about this Cremorne Maccas when i got there. As i walked in there was a very large lady waiting for her order. When i say large, were talking not-far-off-a-motorized-cart-cause-i-am-too-lazy-to-walk kind of large.  So i walked over to the lanes, neckbrace and all, and due to her largeness she seemed to be taking up both of them. I politely said "excuse me" and she shot me a filthy look as though i had  asked her to do a push-up. Which by the way, she has ZERO hope of accomplishing. Sorry lady but being morbidly obese doesn't give you a free pass to take up the McDonalds line.

Sorry that a neck brace wearing cripple asked you to move, i realize how hard this must be for you. But alas, i was right. Because this lady had to heave her large gut and shuffle a few inches to her right. Or maybe it was a meter, its hard to tell with these larger people. I think the whole ordeal made her even hungrier. And she made sure to make a disapproving noise as she did so.......





The most confusing thing about this lady, who i would have to guesstimate at about 200kgs, was that she had yoga pants and running shoes on. Now i am not exactly clothing-savvy, but i am certain your going to be hard pressed to find XXXXL yoga pants at your local sports store.

And the running shoes? Is she trying to convince people that she has just run from somewhere? Wrong, lady we know the fastest speeds those shoes have seen were when they were on the production line back in India.

Or maybe she wears the yoga pants and running shoes to tell her self that she is sporty and COULD go for runs if she wanted to......?

I am not a dietitian but getting the 'caesar salad' on top of your almighty meal of big mac's and mc chicken burgers might not be doing much good. I guess the salad is the 'moral support' part of the meal. You can stuff your face full of calories and french fries, but all is redeemed once the salad goes down your pie hole. Yeah thats right lady, i saw what you ordered and i was unimpressed! I am a hungry boy and i couldn't have finished half of your order.

But at the end of the day she did get a diet coke, so its not a complete failure. She is on the path to weight loss, bless her. I do wish her well with that.


I am sorry if you are currently fat and currently in a McDonalds line. This is something you need to get sorted.......i am slightly intoxicated and need to go to sleep.... So my advice, if your going to be a grotesque fat pig, you may as well enjoy it and eat all the unhealthy shit you want to. But don't try kid yourself by wearing sporty clothes and drinking diet cokes. Its way too late.

And when a crippled fella such as me asks you to move. FUCKING DO IT.........





BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.




-scotty