Little Kids Think They Are Awsome.....But They Actually Suck
One thing you can always count on is that little kids, are always going to be blatant when dealing with 'different' looking people out in public.
Little kids are social retards, and many a time i have been reduced to tears when i have seen a little boy or girl speak out loud about the way someone looks in a shopping centre or the street.
'Mum! Why is that woman so fat', 'Mum look at that black person' (maybe this one is not very common) 'Dad, whats wrong with that man?'
This last one 'what's wrong with that man', is by far the most common, and usually the most funny. 'That man' may be called out by the little bastard for any reason. He may be too fat, maybe too skinny? Or maybe he has an obvious disability or even a crazy dress style. But very often it could be that he is just plain butt-ugly
Totally acceptable example of a woman who may be publicly ridiculed by a small child
Unacceptable example of a man (also quite handsome) who may be publicly ridiculed by small child
So as i was walking in Chatswood today with my mate nick, i happened to notice a little boy looking at my neck brace as though it was about to jump off and eat him whole. He then spotted me looking and did this stupid dance on the spot and then sprinted (very poor coordination of course) over to his father..... Oh well, didn't think anything of it.
As we kept walking a little girl on her dads shoulder; spotted my neck brace and then continued to observe me as though i was a mildly interesting tv program. "Fuck off" i mouthed at her. Luckily she hadn't quite mastered the linguistic knowledge to understand what i meant.
"OK, so kids find it a bit weird" i thought to myself. What ever. Then as we arrived at the food court i was met by a small boy who then paused. Looked up at me. Looked at the neck brace. And then continued to turn to his father and say those 5 word. "What's wrong with that man?" WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??
Ok firstly you little shit, its a fucking neck brace, i am not frankenstein (although i do kind of turn like he does) secondly, if i didn't have this thing on/ if you were 19 years older i would kick your arse. I can still probably do more sports than you and i will out run you. You probably haven't even learned to tie your shoes. dick. Ok sure, i cant physically tie mine either at the moment, but thats beside the point.
I didn't say anything of course, just shot his red-headed father a dirt look that said 'you have red hair, and you know it'
Point is, little kids are shit scared of me and i am now 'one of those guys' I never thought i would. Maybe when i am a crazy 50 year old in my motorized cart and a bottle of jack in my hand. But now? At age 23? I honestly though it would be later in life before i started getting ridiculed by little kids.
Moral of this story is, little kids are shit heads and should keep their social bashing to fat people and weirdos.
So now when i walk, i am going to count how many little kids curiosity i can spark. I may bring it upon myself though, for when they are on the ground i physically need to bend at the waist to look down hahaha. oh well.
I will endure the 'whats wrong with that man' for the rest of my incarceration. But parents beware. I have a neck brace on. And if your kid gets kicked or trodden on as i walk. Its their own fault.....
PS. It may seem to you, that i am having a go at little kids who don't know any better. If that is the case, then your right. I am sure in todays society, toddlers are probably already reading blogs. And they need to learn!!
BYE for now
-Scotty - 1
-Little kids - 0
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